Recently, I began seeing a patient who I already know is going to be difficult for me to let go. He and his partner are a lovely young couple, so loving and sweet to one another, as well as to anyone entering their home. On my first visit, the patient talked joyfully and openly about all the love and care he had experienced since moving to Kentucky. Both he and his significant other were so grateful for this first massage session, marveling at how much it helped to ease discomfort in his affected leg.

My second visit was of a different nature, made in urgency to help alleviate severe pain in the same area. I remember looking at the artwork hanging in the bathroom prior to this session and wanting to ask the patient about it. The patient’s partner said he had acquired it during time in New Orleans. Once I began the treatment, it was immediately clear that the patient would not be able to discuss any specific topic at length. I noticed that the patient had dots marked in pen along his right leg, which he said he had drawn to indicate the location of the pain. This was such a wonderful guide tool for me to be able to work on the areas that were of most concern to the patient, without requiring additional input, which would have been difficult for him at the time. I told his partner how brilliant I found that simple act to be. She asked if there was anything else she could do to help and so we spent some time reviewing simple massage techniques that could be used to help the patient in between integrative medicine massage visits. 

I left that day feeling like I had done everything I could for this family and yet feeling like I couldn't do enough. I know this will not be an easy passing for the family, but also for myself. Although I feel like there is a cadence to this work of life and death, it is difficult to know how to “let go and let God” in these emotional circumstances. It sometimes feels like being introduced to new friends without having the chance to really get to know them. At the same time, I am so grateful for the opportunity to meet these wonderful people and, hopefully, provide some relief during such a profound and solemn moment in their lives.